Hash 337 Bad Boyz B-Day Hash Hares: Aching Ass & Gourmet Gourmet promised naughtiness. Aching Ass assured us he’d be double plus ungood. But are they really that bad? Just ask their mommies: “That little stinker Gourmet, I always had to swat his hands to get them off his you-know-what, until he broke it. I still have mixed feelings about that day.” “Aching Ass, what a pain in mine. I’m just glad I got him out of the house by 27. I finally could stop paying for calls to those 900 numbers.” It was a hot, steamy day and the bad boyz left before I got there, so who knows what they did or didn’t do. Neon Knockers showed up because the erections included Cox road, which was exciting enough to drive seventeen hours across the plain barren plain boring flat nothing between here and there why did I make this move there’s nothing to live for now Indiana. Pinwheels were to be on the trail, so anything colorful and spinning attracted attention. When QB pulled off his shirt and started swinging his pasties, Bump and Grinder gave him a couple of tugs, two more than he’s had in a while. What a bad boy. At one point the pack went through a tunnel to a picture check. Sucks But Doesn’t Swallow got claustrophobia so we blocked up one end to help her gravitate to the other end. She started screaming to us, so we assumed it was thanks and were on out. Boyz will be boyz. Wrong Nut jumped into a creek, but he needed to warm it up and blow bubbles before Hot Tub Slut would jump it. Wrong Nut got out and joined us a BN down the creek. MIA were HTS and QB. At BN2 there was a hare snare by Dah Gimp and Wedgie. The hares heard the FRBs in the woods and called out “YBF” and laid fake pack arrows. As a final act of defiance, they befloured Gimp. Since he never sweats, none of it stuck. The pack was joined by BN1, as someone decided to bring it along, possibly Wrong Nut. Both BNs moved to avoid the neighbor kids from getting at it. Didn’t want to make any more bad boyz in that ‘hood. Wrong Nut and I Repo Shit went swimming again in a pond, bypassing the pool, claiming it was the first Saturday of the month and time to bathe. Someone said AA got snared trying to pick up the missing BN1. Two snares in a hash, that’s pretty bad haring. Circle Opened: Hares drank for commentary like “it was a perfect trail.” Gashole had to leave, so IRS was drafted as RA to run the circle. He tried to clarify that he was IRS, not IRA. When Hairy Met Chunky sang a Spanish song. Virgins: Maureen, Jamie, Susan. QB introduced them to the hash when he said, “Okay, now turn your head and cough twice.” Hares drank for MGNs in the erections. IRS said, “My dad’s MGN is Left Turn, so you’re screwed.” MIA: Chunky, Wedgie, Dick The Phone, Neon. Lost on Trail: Chunky, Got Crabs?, HTS. When they had emerged from the woods, QB had burrs on his head and HTS had them somewhere else. Mystic Blow drank for knowing the name of the boy in Blue Lagoon, concerning the pond swim. Gimp commented about Wedgie’s bionic ankle clicking. Turns out it was the gears in Wedgie’s head. Turns out the ankle is not the only bionic appendage he has. Cumpetitive: Maureen. HTS & QB showed their butts (don’t have the original reason why), so Maureen showed hers. Being a virgin, she got a little overzealous, so Dick The Phone had to ask her to “dress & cover.” Late Cummer: Stinky Winkie. Calling Crimes Fouls: Wrong Nut. Using Argentine Dollars for Hash Cash: Chunky. Mutual Grooming in Circle: AA picking burrs off QB. Bestiality: Sucks But Doesn’t Swallow. Slurrage: IRS. Needs a Chick to Dress Him: Hyper Hand Job. Hares drank for snares and putting a BN next to kids. Chunky for being gay caballero from the Pampas. Pinwheel Champion with 5: Strox Cox Baxwards. She got a poster of Farrah Fawcett after her boob job. You could see the insertion scars. 3X already had it, so she gave it to IRS who didn’t want it, so he gave it to AA who gave it to the father of the kids by the BN for not calling the cops. Mystic and AV got a beer gift for something. QB donated mugs. Analversaries: 15 Wrong Nut, 35 for .38 Special, 50 Hyper Hand Job, 160 Stinky Winkie, 185 Beat It. Hash Analversaries: 20 Aching Ass. Birth Analversaries: Neon (again? I knew she had a lot of births analversaries but it seems like she just had a couple), Strox Cox Baxwards, When Harry Met Chunky, Pubic Zirconia. Oh, I almost forgot: AA and Gourmet, too. One more hash, one more year, one more shitty trail. On out! Your Scribe, Lube My Johnson Attendees: $3.00 A Minute 38 Special Aching Ass Anal Vice Beat It Bump 'n' Grinder Curdled Cum Dah Gimp Famunda Gas Hole Got Crabs? Gourmet Hot Tub Slut Hot Wax Me Officer Hyper Hand Job I Repo Shit Jamie NHN Roszel Little Boy Blue Balls Lube Me Up Scotty Mystic Blow Neon Knockers Next Time I Cum Poo Packer Pubic Zirconia Quarter Barrel Stinky Winkie stroX coX baXwards Suck This Sucks But Doesn't Swallow Susan NHN Roszel The Unalicker Video X Wedgie When Hairy Met Chunky Wrong Nut