Bright and early (9ish) Saturday morning, I sprang from bed with a lilt in my step (I hobbled across the room) and cracked the shade to peer outside - when what before my unbelieving sleep-fogged eyes did appear, was a jolly old elf and eight tiny reindeer... (oh, wait, wrong story). Almost as unbelievably, I saw snow. Snow coming down. Hard. Horizontally. The first snow of the friggin' season for MY Hash. "Well, so much for setting any of the false trails early in the day." The covers were still warm and beckoning. So much for 9 a.m.

The next opportunity for a weather check was 10ish (thanks to my bladder). Still snowing. Horizontally. Fine. Peed. Got a shower. Got dressed. Went out for a couple bagels and coffee. Dropped off dry cleaning. Went to the bank. Stopped at the grocery store. Bought gas. Still snowing. Hard. By now it's noon. Looks like still fewer of the false trails will be laid early. Fine.

One o'clock. Still snowing, not quite as hard, but the wind was gusting angrily and whipping snow into pelting swirls. Changed into Hashing attire (several layers of it), put beer and a few other consumable liquids into a cooler, skipped the ice, thought, "great day for an outdoor Beer Near. At least I'll be running past it." Loaded the cooler, flour, Hash Stick into the truck. Still snowing.

Arrived at Eden Park about 2:30 to drop the cooler at the Beer Near. Snowing. Barely. Very funny. Even if I tried, I could lay only about ten Hash marks before time to head downtown. I am amused that today's trail will be 100% live-Hare - especially since I'm the Hare...

I pulled up to Lytle Park in the trusty red F-150 at about 2:40. The fall of snow had ceased! Fortunately, at least in the downtown area, accumulation was Zip, the streets and ground were just very wet. No Hashers in sight - ah, but wait, just behind me, a car parking! It's Horny Dog and Red Hott Twatter (both DH3). We were just beginning to think, after about ten minutes waiting, that we'd just jog to the On-On-On and call it a day. However, finally, another Hasher! Mystic Blow (technically DH3) pulled up, anxious to run - or to add more layers of clothing. Now it was looking like Dayton Hashers chasing a Sin City Hare! (Why does this sound familiar?) Finally, somebody from Sin City, David Nelson (known in infrequent Hash circles as Tan Man) arrived, followed not too distantly by David (NHN) Blumenfeld, Schlitz Over Titz, and Dog-In-Drag (sans dog, and sans Tight Lips). Next were Luscious Lips and Fud Mucker (both DH3) - just to be sure there were as many Dayton Hashers as Sin City Hashers on this pleasant Autumn afternoon. After hanging around his car for about twenty minutes ("is that Dave down there??") Dave (NHN) Wuerdeman decided to drop in for the run.

Finally, right on time, at about 3:20, Chalk Talk explained the Sin City marking technique, and Yours Truly beat feet outta there, asking for the full 10 minute consideration - but knowing I'd be lucky not to hear whistles after about seven minutes, with Fud Mucker being around. (During the wait, more Sin City Hashers arrived - Vommitt Dog, Big Mac, Tight Grip, and Spewing Reptile. Tight and Spewing had brought with them a Virgin and Guest, Gill Douglas of Summerville, SC. These clever individuals had been waiting at Lytle Place - apparently not having read the directions very carefully. Finally - and this is all still hearsay - Big Mac asked the attendant/guard at Lytle Place if it happened not to be Lytle Park, as well. Luckily for this bunch of Hashers, the guard's verbal directions brought them to Lytle Park in time to join the chase. This at least assured that the quantity of Sin City Hashers would exceed the number of brave souls from Dayton who made the trip, saving our kennel some embarrassment - though all the DH3's managed to make it to Lytle Park!)

Now, I can only suppose and recite from fantastic accounts (except for one unfortunate encounter later on trail with lost souls) how fared the Hounds on this Hare's trail. Though it was "live", I'd laid a leisurely jog through scenic Mount Adams and Eden Park, taking in some of the more mind - and, um, thigh - expanding trails through that part of the city. Somehow, though, it turns out the pack was split by my second check, some Hounds willing to run a full three-quarters of a mile without a Hash mark in sight (and then being lucky enough to encounter trail). Any good Hasher knows where there's a "Sidewalk Closed" sign, trail is usually close by...

Anyway, passing the Art Museum was entertaining, with the large quantities of people milling about, going to or from the Women of Ancient Egypt exhibition. "What's that man doing, Mommy? And why is he sucking wind like a steam engine??" "I don't know dear, but stay away from him!!" I was happy to find the Beer Near in tact on the descent from the Museum's Car Park toward Eden Park Drive - and, hopefully, so was the pack - I'm expecting that the beer was consumed by Hashers, rather than less conspicuous passers-by. So... a quick refill of flour for the Hash Stick, and off again!

On across Eden Park Drive for a false trail or two - and fortunately outta there before Fud Mucker arrived (from the wrong friggin' direction, of course), and had to be whistled back to the Beer Near. I should feel fortunate, I suppose, that he didn't blow on by, as is his usual practice. Alcohol abuse, I say!

So, on down past the old planetarium I loped, and laid trail on a gentle rolling hill leading back to Ida Street atop Mount Adams. From here I could hear whistles. "Are those wankers just now getting close to the BN?," I thought, and continued to lay a false trail toward the Playhouse. Alas, on returning to true trail along Ida Street... a disoriented looking runner headed in my direction - turns out that disoriented runner was four disoriented Lost Souls - Tight Grip, Gill, Red Hott Twatter, and Horny Dog. (Technically, an "encountered on trail", NOT "caught on trail" as later charged.) We parted with directions toward the Beer Near (they looked really thirsty!), and my solemn vow, "It's all down hill from here!"

After a couple more gentle grades and a few more checks, I arrived at the On-In, The City View Tavern, and ordered up a pitcher for early arrivers(!), quaffed a glassful of fine brew, then ran back to Lytle Park to retrieve my truck and everyone's dry changes of clothes. Driving back to the City View, I arrived in time to find Vommitt Dog and Fud Mucker "ranging" down Monastery street. They arrived at my parking spot on Oregon Street just behind me; the pack was just minutes behind, and looking refreshed after the day's outing. Somehow, though, we'd managed to lose Tan Man - early in the run, by some accounts. Too bad, he was wearing that nice racing shirt, so - with his first-run-with-SCH4 down-down - that would have been at least two down-downs for him! Hey, Tan Man, what did happen to you anyway? Are You still out there on trail??

More beer was ordered, then to the business at hand: The Hare drank for the fine trail, then again for being "encountered" on trail (who am I to argue with a down-down). Fortunately - particularly for the pack, I had tights on under the warm-up pants that were around my ankles. Sorry the tights were so tight, Luscious. Dog-In-Drag drank for alcohol abuse (poured out a beer (gasp!) at the BN!), then again because he drank his first with his hat on. Our virgin drank - we are impressed with her technique! - as did our fine guests from Dayton. After dumb-ass announcements regarding DH3 and SCH4 up-cumming events, we adjourned to the inside - besides, I was freezing my arse standing around on the balcony (to the point of altogether missing Vommitt's race shirt!).

Well, after many beers, much good conversation, and several cheeseburgers, the crowed filtered down the hill. Soon, those left at the City View numbered six: Red Hott Twatter (DH3), Horny Dog (DH3), Mystic Blow (DH3, technically), Luscious Lips (DH3), Fud Mucker (DH3), and Anal Vice (SCH4). Hey, all you Sin City light-weights! Note the ratio of DH3's to SCH4's here! How about some SCH4 Party support??

Our number did increase by one when Maureen (the bartender) went off shift and joined us - a little curiosity is a dangerous thing, Maureen soon learned (though her eye for quality people is phenomenal - must be that bartender touch). Although having yet to do her Virgin Hash, Maureen is now and forever shall be (until she is renamed, at least) known as "Gets Her Own" - and she promises to make it to our next Hash - she did her naming down-down, but still needs a Virgin down-down. Hey, BFH and Vommitt - take note: we are looking for a good party after the 23.November Hash!!

After adjourning The City View, the remainder of us (Mystic headed north, I'm sorry to say) did a quick turn at The Blue Wisp - kind of a slow night there - and a couple beers at the Main Street Brewery (wall to wall people). By then, it was only Luscious, Fud, and me for a pint (just one?) of Guinness at Rhino's - a fine cap to a fine Hash! We should do this again soon. (And I still managed to stop at the Art Museum and pick up the Beer Near!)

On-ON and On-OUT,
Anal Vice - On Sec SCH4