Waterproof flour and chalk? Waterproof paint ball gun? Just how would Shackle be laying the trail today?, I wondered as I sped toward Mt. LOOKOUT in my trusty red Ford F-150, windshield wipers slappin' time... (wait, wrong song). A pause in the rain welcomed me to the square and the accompanying search for a place to park. Some smart-assed cheerleader (oops, sorry, Tight) stole the spot on which I had my eye - as did Dog-In-Drag - on Linwood - so I ended up not uncomfortably distant down Delta. What the hey, the rain has never bothered me before.

I'd been worried that I'd be late, but given the inclement weather, I arrived at approximately 2:30 sharp (!) to find Tight Sphincter, Dave (NHN) Wuerdeman and Suzi (the wife of the Hare) at the bar. Hmmm, could be a small pack today. However, close behind me was Dog-In-Drag with Chelsea (NHN), his dog, in drag. The Hare was next, and looked worried. Having pretty much laid a dead (and moist) trail, Shackle proceeded to recruit Dog to be a surrogate Hare, as Shackle and Suzi were due in Cleveland in four hours for a wedding. Close planning, Shackle, hope you made it on-time and safely! In any case, the surrogate Hare was a wise idea, JUST IN CASE any of the trail had been rendered invisible (something like STS's trail?) by the rain. Much whispering and pointing occurred in the next room.

Mrs. Cunningham, experienced with many Hashes in China, arrived for her virgin Sin City Hash. She was joined by Irish Stewl and Big Fucking Ham. Finally, two (wet) virgins joined us, Sue Felter (welcome!) and Diana Bless (welcome!).

Shackle informed us that an important CLUE would await us at the Beer Near, and that solving it would reveal the trail to the On-In. With that, he and Suzi disappeared requesting the usual ten minutes. They were never seen again. We presume they've laid trail all the way to Cleveland. Dog proceeded with Chalk-Talk-on-a-napkin (rather than draw and throw flour on the MLT floor), and chatter unincumbered by the thought process ensured to pass the time. I can't believe no one ordered a beer! ...or sang Father Abraham.

Anyway, after the full ten minutes (and two minutes for Tight to go to her car), we were off! We easily found and climbed the stairs off Mt. LOOKOUT Square, and easily found the first check. Beyond that, I ran for about two blocks before finding a blob of something by a tree that might have at some point in it's life been flour. Fortunately, Dave W. found a Hare arrow on a utility pole across the street. On-ON!

Shackle had been wise to utilize telephone poles and trees for markings, where checks and hash had been left on the ground, signs were nearly obliterated. At only one point did our Surrogate Hare have to intervene with "there's a check here (someplace)." By this time the rain had stopped, and we slogged on through Mt. LOOKOUT and Hyde Park in the pea-soup humidity, finally HAPpily arriving at HAP's Irish Pub for the Beer Near.

Here, the bartender (no sense of humor) provided the clue: "Proceed to the home of Shackle's VERY GOOD friends. From there your trail home will be easy." The beer hadn't even been drawn into the pitchers by the time the pack figured out that we would be going to the District Police Headquarters. Are we good, or just historically ept?!? Dog-In-Drag dropped Chelsea at home (close by, at this point), as he'd be taking over Hare duties from here - a mug of beer was saved with which he would nourish himself before heading out to Erie Avenue. By the way, don't ever help yourself to an ice-cold mug at Hap's - the bartenders absolutely GLARE. Must be a sacred freezer. Or there's something hidden in there.

Well, we were right. Not one hash mark was encountered between Hap's and the Police Station, but chalk galore in the form of checks was found there. After congratulating ourselves for discovering the obvious, on up Erie we went. Dog tried to addle us by laying a Back Check at Delta, but always prepared, the trail was quickly discovered leading round back of an apartment complex. We all waved as we ran by the open-curtained sliding glass doors (what WAS that woman DOING in there??). Though Dog-In-Drag added a few twists and turns, Shackle had been basically right: the trail home was a Dog-trot (sorry about that), and we soon found ourselves at Millions'. I guess that technically made this an A to B Hash.

Beer (in the teeniest down-down cups I've ever seen) and good conversation was quickly on hand. Dog-In-Drag did a surrogate down-down (Shackle still owes one). Mrs. Cunningham was welcomed to Sin City with a down-down (she has done this before, folks), and the virgins were welcomed with their obligatory down-down. (I'd almost say they've done this before, too.) No Hash Crimes had been noted - though pouring an entire bag of flour on the floor certainly could have qualified Dog-In-Drag. I had also expected Tight Sphincter to accuse the remainder of the pack of being wimps for not dressing up (this WAS the closest thing we'll get this year to a Halloween Hash), but that did not materialize. How long have you had that cheerleader outfit, Tight?

After quickly draining a few pitchers, munchies set in, so some Hashers bade farewell and others of us (what happened to you, Irish) went to Zips for numerous Zip Burgers (each) and fries. Here, a road trip to Dayton for the evening's Full Moon Hash almost materialized - but we came to our senses when time and distance (and weather) were finally grasped. Oh, well, another time.

On-ON and ON-OUT,
Anal Vice
On-Sec SCH4