REHASH SCH4 HASH #219

Thursday, December 13, 2001, 6:30 p.m.

Hares:  Hyper:  Stinky Winkie and then Smegma

Location:  Fort Thomas VA Pub

Author: Pubic Offender

Hashers too cheap to be out buying christmas presents or disowned by their families:

Gourmet, Stinky, Strox COx Baxwards (the hasher formerly known as Carla), Eats it Raw, But Digger, Cums after the first Jerk, Hot Tub Slut, VOmmitt Dog, WHo Blue Balled Rod, Beat it, Hot Wax Me off, Smegma, .......I knew there were 14 of us but it took me a while at the bar to figure out who was missing from my list.....P.O.

Executive synopsis:  In all, we only ventured .25 miles in every direction from our starting point yet still were out for 52 minutes.  We doubled and tripled back from  all points in a usual state of pack confusion (which is perhaps amusing since we were composed of all hard core hashers, or should I say half minds?).  The Army reserve building had rolls or barbed wire around it--obviously they are not too confident Osama really is still in Afghanistan.

Top 10 highlights approved by David Letterman:

10. Smegma hid behind the minimart when the pack approached (further evidence that he was Wonderwoman and I was the Superman at the happy hour shoot out during Thanksgiving).

9. No one flet sympathy for Stinky's whining about his dirty back which resulted from taking us down a steep backyard.

8. Gas Hole was selected to draw the number of the hare out of a hat at the beginning of the hash. Slut raised the hat up hight and Gas Hole stated he could "Not get it (his hand) up."  To which a hasher responded that we did not want to hear a recount of his wedding night mishaps.

7.  "I am not drinking this horse piss beer." --Vommitt Dog.  (How in the hell can you turn down a beer of any sort after you have done more than 100 hashes?  All in favor of banning him or turning him into the FBI as an imposter, say "aye"!)

6.  "I am in the wrong profession."  Strox Cox Baxwards upon learning some strippers make $2,000 a weekend. (Anyone willing to help her make a career change please let her know--I have first dibs, though)

5.  Cums after the First Jerk had to do a down down for writing the shortest rehash in history and posting it 4 times on the bulletin board instead of following his directions to email it to Stinky.  Some one yelled out, "he must have broke a nail."

4.  Yours truly had to drink for losing Wile-E, Homer and the World Trade Center collapse.

3.  Wax Off used a pencil's penis-shaped eraser as missletoe.

2.  "Last year 30 people really needed to stay off the road at the christmas party but only 14 people did stay over."  -Smegma.

1.  "Why don't we just go back to the bar?"  -Strox Cox Baxwards.  As a pack, we showed our true competitiveness and ignored her intelligent pleas even though we ran by the on-in bar twice!  (who says there are no good single women left!!!!!!!!!!!)

Other competive notes:

wax 90

Gourmet 105

Stinky 80

Stox cox Baxwards 5

Don't Drink and Drive!  Let someone take you home!  :)