It began as a pleasant Spring evening as we left the parking lot at Shady O'Grady's. There were almost ten Cincinnati Hashers in attendance, a roudy entourage of about the same number of Dayton Hashers, and fresh out of hibernation, our mascot, Wilie Coyote. We headed north on Loveland-Madeira Road and it didn't take long - maybe a few hundred yards, it seemed - before we left the comfy confines of the road for the less predictable woods.

Well, Little Red Riding Hood has nothing on us after our voyage through the forest. Her biggest problem was a cross-dressing wolf with big teeth and bad breath. Nowhere in Red's adventure did she have to trudge through mud, brush, trees, vines, thorns, pricks, spores and weeds, while navigating slippery hillsides, treacherous railroad tracks and tressles, standing water, creeks, and sewers. Fortunately the low tide kept the piranhas to a minimum, so any damaged ankles were due more to the unstable terrain than to the wildlife.

But the mosquitos more than made up for it, as they were having a spectacular feast of Steamed Corpuscle of Hashers. They couldn't seem to get enough of us. And if you had enough forsight to apply bug-repellant before we began - like exactly NONE of us did - then the overgrown vegetation took care of you. There was enough Poison Ivy, Poison Oak, Poison Sumac - and several other poisonous species of plants yet to be identified by botonists - to keep the analgesic manufacturers happy for the rest of the summer. The first few minutes in the woods caused several Hashers to take very deliberate steps around all the vegetation land mines that abounded. But after awhile, we all gave up and adopted the "shortest route-straightest line" approach. It was sometime later that several Hashers were introdcued for the very first time to Prickly Nettles. It was only after being unknowingly led through a patch of those $#%@^*! nettles that several Hashers were actually looking forward to the creek-cross just ahead. It seems that cool water against the skin does much to soothe the annoying nettles.

The Indian Hill Rangers made a brief but memorable appearance during the last 1/4 mile of the Hash, making life difficult for the last few straggling Hashers. Playing Mr. Tough Guy Cop, he graciously elected not to arrest them for trespassing and allowed them to continue - if they promised to respect the concept of "Private Property". You can bet they expressed their gratitude of his kindness most of the rest of the way back. "Thank you sir, may I have another."

After what seemd like hours, we gathered inside at Shady O'Grady's. We were fortunate in that we only had two Hash virgins in attendance - Dena and Bob. After the trek through the jungle and all, we don't expect to see either of those guys again. And down-downs were sentenced to Charles Morgan for neglecting to tell the virgins not to wear new shoes. Down-downs were also "awarded" to two unnamed Dayton Hashers who blew by the beer near.

After the obligatory Hash-It, we got down to the business of naming three of our Cincinnati Hashers. Rhonda, Fred and Tom were delegated to the parking lot until the Naming Caucus was complete. Sometimes names come easily and other times they come with time. But in the case of Rhonda, Fred and Tom - who between them have over 20 Hashes - they were nameless for too long, and tonight was THE night. So with the help of the verbose Dayton Hashers, three new names were born.

Tom - "Blo Moe"
Fred - "Anal Vice"
Rhonda - "Tight Lips"

With Tight Grip,Tight Schincter and Procto Man already on the roster, adding the newly monikered Tight Lips and Anal Veis make the Cincinnati Hash House Harriers/Harriettes the TIGHTEST and MOST ANAL Hash chapter in the free world. And damn proud of it !

A note of "thanks" to the visiting Dayton Hashers. They were a nice addition, and added a lot in both numbers and spirit. They also were a big reason that we consumed a record number of pitchers at the bar. Kudos aplenty to the Dayton gang for adding to the fun - and for making the drive down from Dayton on a weeknight.

Next up: RUN # 21, Hared by Jim Cree, Saturday, June 29 @ 2:30 pm in the parking lot across from the Brickyard (2038 Madison Road), in O'Bryonville. See ya ther. Until then, "On-out".